Mr. Scam America,

I knew there was a more succinct way of describing what you all are doing with the various voter fraud donation websites than the phrase “theft by false pretenses” and it’s simply the word “scam.” How ‘bout that, huh? Just four little letters sums up your whole larcenous swindle incredibly well.

What I want to know now is if bookies are taking bets on whether y’all will juice up the nerve to take one of your failed lawsuits to the Supreme Court, and if so, whether the odds changed appreciably after the Pennsylvania Supreme Court unanimously blasted your whiny baby fuss about ballot corrections out of the proverbial water. I mean, if you can’t get a panel of three Republican judges, one of which you appointed, to call it in your favor, are you really going to risk being humiliated by the SOCTUS?

Personally, because I’m not a very nice person, I hope so.

I would love for you and Rudy to perform synchronized belly flops on the biggest stage in the country, so yes, I’ve got my fingers crossed that you’ll go for it. Plus, it would give us a chance to see just what we’re dealing with when it comes to Amy Coney Barrett. Obviously, I’m assuming that at least Justice Roberts of the GOP-appointed Justices would rule against you, but I think it’s entirely possible that Kavanaugh and Gorsuch won’t sully their reputations by ruling in your favor either. On the other hand, it would be truly shocking if either ACB or Thomas didn’t rule in your favor. We’ll see.

And pretty soon, right?  You’re at the point in the Boggle game when the sand has almost, almost all run out of the top of the little hour glass and you’re frantically trying to come up with something, anything to make a respectable showing against your much stronger opponent. Too bad for you – one and two letter words won’t cut it. And neither will completely unsubstantiated claims of voter fraud or cheating or rigging or whatever you want to call it. You can put lipstick on a pig and parade her in front of the most illustrious line up of judges, but the dear thing is still a pig….. (no offense to pigs meant).

If the past seven days are any indication of what your schedule will look like going forward, you’ll have plenty of time to meet with Rudy to decide which of the 35 (more?) bogus, failed suits to run up the SCOTUS pole. Your official daily schedule indicates that you played golf five of the last 7 days and that one of the no-golf days (Monday) had “no public events scheduled” except for a 10am in-house pool call so surely you can squeeze in some time to game out which suit is the least bad of the bunch.

Ok, enough of that. I didn’t mean to get going on all this today since there are way more important things to write about, but apparently I let myself get snagged. Oh well. I still have 50+ letters to you to go and I’ll buckle down again soon. Promise.

BTW – have you heard “Relay,” the song Fiona Apple wrote after Kavanaugh was confirmed? The main lyrics are shiver inducing – they go: “evil is a relay sport.” Indeed.

May we be safe from evil befalling us and beguiling us.
May we be happy when we come up with the right four letter words.
May we remember that strength isn’t signaled by who can yell the loudest.
May we accept that virtually every one of our democratic cornerstones is currently in danger.

Sincerely,
Tracy Simpson