What if the Emperor’s naked ass had been called out today?

Dear President Trump,

I think most of us are feeling pretty cozy and righteous these days living in our own little echo chambers. Sounds like you all took this to new heights today with your round robin of who can out-kudo the rest of the pack in lavishing praise and props on you after you served a heaping helping of self-kudos first. I so wish someone had had the guts to say, “Well, really Mr. President, you’ve signed a raft of Executive Orders, the most important of which is held up in legal limbo because it smacks of religious bias and there is no rational basis for it, and the only way you are going to get the legislation you want on taxes and healthcare passed is if you make a bunch of backroom dirty deals outside the normal, democratic channels of open discussion, negotiation, and, God-forbid, compromise. So actually, Mr. President, it is not accurate that you and your administration have set some new high water mark for productivity and accomplishment. Quite the contrary, you are mired in controversy, the very legitimacy of your presidency is completely suspect, you are pitting Americans against one another, and you are highly likely to start a war, either on purpose to distract us or accidentally by pissing off a foreign dictator or two or three.” Of course that person would be out of a job in a nano-second and might even not live very long, but he or she would have been the stuff of legends, a folk hero for the ages. It would have been epic.

Just because it is so incredibly fun and satisfying to imagine such a scene, let’s think about what your die-hard loyal cabinet members would do in such a situation. A couple of them would resort to good old body slamming or shouting the person down. I bet, though, more than one would secretly be cheering the person on because they are sick to death of having to prop you up. At least for their sake I hope this is the case. I hope there’s someone in the bunch who is hanging in to try and limit the damage the rest of you are intent on doing. We’ll likely never know since dissenting opinions don’t seem super popular in your circle, at least not ones aired publicly. Hardly very democratic, this insistence on all hail the Trump all the time.

Since we need you to not need propping and to be solid, here is your blessing for today:

May you be safe.
May you be happy.
May you grow up to be healthy and strong.
May your life unfold and intersect peacefully.

Sincerely,
Tracy Simpson

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