Dear President Trump,
While Laura appreciated me sending you the suggestion that you resign for her birthday, she would have been much happier had you actually done it. In fact, there would be rejoicing the world round if you and your illegitimate lackeys were to slink off with your tails tucked. So how about it? You must be getting tired of all this back and forth and back and forth between wherever you are told you need to be and your resorts. If you were to resign, you could just hole up at one of them and not have to bother with all the stress and strain of travel and pretending to make nice. Plus you could stop making all those awkward appearances in front of foreign audiences that revile you and are patently not cheering you on, no matter what you say.
If only there were a way to make you think (sigh) that you still have your hands on the levers of power and that you’re still funneling public money to your favorite bankrolls, but really have you safely ensconced at some remote Trumpian golf course. I bet the Black Mirror people could figure out a way to do it so you had no idea you were in a virtual reality space separated from the rest of us. I’ll be happy to just give them the idea for free if they would give it a shot.
Ok. Sorry about the silly fantasy digression – I’m just so sick of you I could spit and since the impeachment question continues to teeter uncertainly in the House, I apparently need to soothe myself with out-there ideas of how to get rid of you without violence. It was refreshing, though, to read in the HP this morning that while Nancy Pelosi is still opposed to initiating impeachment inquiries, she wants to see you in prison. This may be her particular self-soothing fantasy. It’s a good one.
I’m curious (really), if a president is impeached does it mean they cannot face criminal indictments that could land them in prison? If so, you might just want to finagle getting impeached because otherwise I really could see you doing time.
Along these lines, it sounds like Nadler is going to get Mueller to testify soon. In public hearings. On TV. Where your base will be able to see it. Where your base will be able to hear directly from Mueller what the report did say and did not say rather than only getting the warped distillations served up by William Barr and your Foxy Friends.
Are you following this thread from which your very own Sword of Damocles is perilously dangling? I’m sure you are. This is exactly what you don’t want to see happen. I bet the second the Mueller date is announced (or you learn of it), you’ll manufacture some new pseudo crisis to distract everyone or you’ll announce that the nutso tariffs on goods coming from Mexico will go up in 10% increments. Or you’ll do both a new crisis and an escalation of one already in the works.
Last night when I saw the headline that you’re planning a major address in front of the Lincoln Memorial on the 4th of July and fussed about it to Laura, she reminded me to stay focused on the real stuff and not get snagged by your flamboyant manipulations (my framing). Obviously I’ve not done a good job of that in today’s correspondence, but her point is a good one. We’ve got to focus on damage control, removal, and renewal and we can’t do all this incredibly hard work if we exhaust ourselves worrying about dumb shit.
May we keep our focus safe and strong.
May we be willing to let go of the drama in service of the big picture.
May we continually come back to what is truly healthy for all of us.
May you not start a war.