Dear President Trump,
Today our son would have been 22 had he lived. Really though, for him to have lived we would have needed to wait two or three more months so he could be born fully formed. In another version of life, he’d likely be gearing up to graduate from college this spring and making plans for a job or more school next year. That’s obviously not at all what happened and instead we have our daughter home for her first holiday break from college telling us about her classes, her friends, her life away from us. I still feel sad about our baby, Roy and the loss of him, but I’m grateful to be alive and to have our daughter embarking on this next major chapter of her life.
I hadn’t planned to write about Roy today but that changed when I saw the WP article about how the US is actively opposing a resolution the UN is developing to protect women and girls from violence because there are assurances about access to sexual and reproductive health, which include abortion care. I’ve told you before that when I was six months pregnant with Roy I developed pre-eclampsia and when it looked like I was starting to have seizures it was decided I couldn’t remain pregnant long enough for him to be viable and it was time to induce labor, which technically means he was aborted. Laura and I made this choice because Roy and I both would have died. We made this choice because it was medically necessary. We made this choice because there was no other choice in that circumstance, even though it was and remains the most heart wrenching choice either of us ever had to make. People don’t make these choices lightly – whether driven by medical necessity or other life circumstances, these are painful, difficult choices. I think it’s safe to say that no woman or girl would wish such a choice on anyone else, except perhaps on men who have no clue and think it’s ok for them to dictate women and girls’ life courses, even if that means premature death.
There’s loads of other crap going on today that’s important and will likely be consequential in ways that will make bigger, showier splashes on the national scene – there always is with the Trump circus in town. But I wanted to raise up the UN resolution and our opposition to it because it so starkly shows whose autonomy and whose lives your administration does and does not value.
May we be safe to be in our bodies.
May we all be supported in our pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness.
May our rights to sexual and reproductive health be honored.
May whoever needs to make peace with women’s autonomy hurry up and do so.