Dear President Trump,

As we head into fall, people are increasingly asking “How was your summer?” Now that I get we are in this mini-season (and out of the “Have anything fun planned this summer?” mini-season), I’m getting better at anticipating it and not responding like a deer in the headlights, wondering whether I should give the socially acceptable fake answer or a more real one. Obviously who is asking and what the circumstances are make a difference in the calculus, but there’s also how tired I am and whether I’ve recently been thinking about our brother-in-law or his now much-closer-in-my-associative-net deceased nephew. If I’m in one of those latter spaces, it’s a lot harder to muster the cheery glib non-answer that my summer was good paired with a quick segue to asking how the other person’s summer was.

The young woman who gave me a facial today (I finally used my Christmas present from Laura) had a nice, not too loaded, opening question “How’s your day going so far?” It was only 11:15 so not much had happened and it was easy to respond with an honest “Pretty good. How’s yours?” Even if it had been a tough morning the fact that I was there would’ve meant it wasn’t too, too bad and I could probably have said something honest like “Well, kind of stressful, really” and still not have engendered the instant-sad-face that comes when I respond honestly to “How was your summer?”

So how is your day going so far? I’m guessing golf didn’t happen given the storm. From the website I found that tracks your activities it looks like you are taking briefings about the storm but otherwise have a free day. There’s a nifty summary of your activities on the site including that since taking office 603 days ago you’ve visited a golf course on 155 of them (which is 25.7% of your days in office and clearly includes some weekdays). You’ve also visited a property you own on 31.7% of the days, which must mean an incredible taxpayer-funded windfall for your balance sheet since your entourage needs to be fed and housed. My guess is that your day today is sort of so-so. You are still in office and making money off it, but not knowing what Paul M will tell Mueller probably has you pretty damn worried about how much longer you can keep the cash coming your way. I personally hope you are twisting good.

May we be safe from you.
May we be happy that more people are waking up to your sleaze.
May we insist on healthy, above board politics.
May you not start a war.

Sincerely,
Tracy Simpson