Dear President Trump,
If it wasn’t so damn serious and frightening I would almost enjoy the nutso consternation and shock people are expressing over your failure to support our intelligence agencies in favor of your BFF Vladimir. You’ve been saying from Day 1 that Russia didn’t interfere with the election, you won completely fair and square, and there was no collusion. So what the hell? Of course you are going to say you asked him quite firmly whether he did it and that you accept his quite firm denial. You’ve told us all along this is what you were going to do.
It’s kind of like the leopard that escaped its enclosure and killed nine animals at the New Orleans Zoo. This is what leopards do. And those poor prey animals didn’t stand a chance. They were trapped in their enclosures and couldn’t do their flight thing at all. That leopard was not about to change his spots and just wander around the zoo eating stray bits of popcorn, sniffing daisies. Nope. The leopard is going to predictably kill because this is the leopard’s nature. There’s not even any point in being mad at the leopard.
This last point about the leopard is where the analogy breaks down some – as predictable as you are, as much as we all should have seen your betrayal of US coming, and as much as you might be responding to a horrible set of contingencies we don’t know about, it is absolutely reasonable for us to be outraged. We can’t let it paralyze us and we can’t luxuriate in it, but we have every right to be flaming furious with you, the GOP props, and with Vladimir, who is doing everything he can to advance his agenda. Neither of you appear to have been born with the normal moral apparatus that would put the brakes on unfettered greed and domination, but you both still deserve the world’s condemnation.
The two of you are a f***ing scary pair. We need to exile you both to a remote island with one coconut tree and an indentation that catches rainwater every two weeks. It should be in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle where navigation is messed up and it must be patrolled by hungry sharks. We should leave you two there to think about what you’ve done and to rot.
May we all somehow be safe from despots and would-be despots.
May we be happy to stop pretending that you are one iota better than you really are.
May we be healthy. And strong.
May we break out of our stasis and be loud about the practical and existential threats you two pose.