Dear President Trump,
I don’t understand why we aren’t all automatically asking “What did Vladimir get from that incredible debacle?” all the time. Anyone trying to make sense of your all’s behavior is going to drive themselves crazy trying to find normal logical explanations. The only thing that makes sense is that you are trashing our country and all our historical allegiances to do Vladimir’s bidding, to strengthen his position now and to give him a strangle hold over the world tomorrow. Nothing else makes sense. The money and power and getting to spout racist, sexist crap – those are all just bennies for you. He’s feeding his pet monkeys (sorry monkeys).
We need to stop approaching your behavior as though it has anything real to do with whatever the superficial situation or context is because it doesn’t; these are just opportunities for you to implement Vladimir’s maximal disruption plans. It doesn’t matter what you do to disrupt things since he picked the perfect tool, one that would naturally spray buckshot every which way all the time. You don’t need to follow a script (which is good because you couldn’t if you tried) and he wouldn’t want you to be his intellectual equal as this would be too threatening. You are perfect just the way you are and Vladimir wouldn’t have you be any other way (sorry Mr. Rogers).
But seriously, we need to stop being surprised or outraged and we need to stop ignoring the room filling with elephants (sorry elephants). We need to stop pretending that whatever mess you are making is a mess in its own right that should be addressed in isolation. To continue doing business this way is folly. Instead, we need to adopt the broken record approach and every single damn time you and Party Trump do or say anything divisive, stupid, destructive, cruel, grasping, or hateful we need to call it out, out loud, as another instantiation of your work for Vladimir. This needs to happen at all press conferences involving you and members of the GOP and ordinary citizens need to yell out these questions and observations every single time they are in proximity to any of you. We need to be relentless in our use of social opprobrium in naming the evil in our midst.
May we somehow come through this nightmare safely.
May we remember what it is to be happy and reclaim it as an act of defiance.
May we keep breathing when we feel so ill we fear we may vomit.
May we somehow not wake up one day next week (next month, next year) annexed by Russia.