Handy Scooter Libby

Dear President Trump,

When you let Scooter Libby off the hook today, did you give him a special presidential pardon so he’ll get the 250k back? Apparently this was a hot topic in 2007 when Cheney was pressuring G.W. to pardon Libby. If you do say he can have the money back, are you going to add interest? It would be a nice touch and would drive home the point that not only will those who obstruct justice to protect you be pardoned, but they will come out ahead in the end. Was pardoning Libby Bolton’s idea? It certainly isn’t something you could have thought up on your own; it’s too clever to have the “Trump” imprint. I can just imagine your reaction when Bolton presented the idea to you; an initial look of confusion and then – “wait, who’s Scooter Libby?” Upon being “reminded” of who he is, another look of confusion – “wait, what good will it do me to pardon him?” Finally giving way to – “wait, that’s brilliant! So glad I thought of it.”

Really, you’ve had a big day today between handing down a juicy political pardon and starting a juicy political bombing campaign in Syria, all while griping about Comey’s unflattering commentary about you. You know, though, I actually don’t want to make light of your decision to bomb Syria. That is a big and very frightening thing. Basically, I don’t trust you and Bolton to be doing it for any noble reason. I think you are really doing it to throw some bloody red meat to your base and to distract them from the FBI’s seizure of Cohen’s files and audio-recordings and from how much of a chump Comey’s book makes you look. There’s also the convenient narrative that you get to spin as far as Russia is concerned since bombing Syria makes it look like you are challenging Putin, which is an especially good idea as your political allies are being picked off one by one by Mueller for their entanglements with Russia and he is moving closer and closer to you.

It’s nearly midnight your time so hopefully you are done for the day. You’ve worn me out. Are you going to take a break over the weekend and go down to Mar-a-lago to golf and tan? I sure hope so since you tend to stay out of trouble when you are down there and the world has had about as much from you as it can take.

May we be safe from stupid leaders who are vulnerable to manipulation.
May we somehow not let happiness get too far away.
May we maintain a healthy skepticism regarding your every move.
May you not lead us into war.

Sincerely,
Tracy Simpson

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