Dear President Trump,
Do you all really think it’s going to help to throw shade on Mr. Mueller and his team by (ironically? cynically? hypocritically? all of the above?) claiming conflict of interest fouls and insisting your financial dealings are out of bounds because they can’t possibly have anything to do with the Russia collusion inquiry? Then there are your inquiries about the extent of your pardon powers and your fuming about having selected Sessions as “your” Attorney General only to have him recuse himself from the Russia inquiry and not be able to run interference for you. Is no one telling you to shut up and stop shooting yourself in the kneecap (temple)? Well, I will tell you that from a basic self-preservation standpoint you should not be saying these things; they make you look guilty as sin.
I don’t know what is motivating these ill-advised blurtings. Maybe you are so arrogant you think you can get away with saying anything you want, or maybe you don’t understand the implications of what you are saying (i.e., when you ask whether you can pardon your family members or yourself, this looks very suspiciously like there was wrongdoing that could theoretically be pardoned so it’s not a good idea to ask such questions where anyone could possibly overhear and go to the press). It’s also possible you are so worn down by the burden of keeping a lid on whatever it is you all did with Russia around the campaign that you are self-sabotaging just to get the reveal over with sooner rather than later. I actually can imagine it would be a pretty awful and distracting strain to have to worry about who might have left what loose end unattended or who might accidentally slip and say what to whom or what emails are going to surface, when, etc. I bet it’s driving you pretty crazy and pushing you to the very edge of your limits. You’ve all but admitted there was wrongdoing (I mean who ever ponders pardoning oneself?) so why don’t you just take the honorable step and formally own up to what you did? It might make you a target of Putin’s fury but it would be in the best interest of the country and it might save you from having to come back as a lap dog to a ham-fisted chain-smoking recluse in your next life. Maybe. I’m afraid you are more in need of blessings now than ever so here you are:
May you be safe.
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you clear your conscience and come clean.