“Zero for you and two for me”

President* Trump,

There truly is no bottom. There is nothing you won’t stoop to or crawl into bed with is there?

Last night I had one of the worst night’s sleep I’ve had in a very long time and I woke up feeling pretty wrecked and honestly, I’m still feeling quite puny. But you know, there’s nothing like a little shot of righteous indignation-fueled adrenaline to perk a person up a bit so thanks, dude – you’re good for something.

What the hell are you doing telling people to vote by mail and then go vote in person? Where’s Laura Ingraham when you need her? You’d think that one of your handlers would have put a god damn muzzle on you after the first round of this, but no – they’re letting you wing out there multiple times with your felonious advice to the American public. And clearly Bill Barr isn’t going to tell ssh you and tell you that you’re saying the crooked crazy parts out loud since he’s on record saying that he doesn’t know all the voting rules in all the states but that you are absolutely right that voter fraud is a real danger. OMG. What planet are we on? He doesn’t know all the voting rules in all the states – give me a break.

So what’s the plan here? Because you have to have one and because now that Second-coming of Christ Trump has planted the idea with his base that they better vote twice (just to be sure…), you know a bunch of those Kool-aid drinkers are going to do it. So is the RNC setting up a bail fund for them? Or is there some deal in the works to induce (coerce, bribe, terrorize) election officials to do enough winking and nodding through of second ballots cast for you that those officials will have implicated themselves badly enough that no one’s going to tell?

I get that this is probably just you being your expletive-ridden self and dropping distraction bombs – the COVID numbers look horrible today as do all of the election polls. I imagine you’re desperate to get us all looking at you and your insane antics rather than seeing that over 1,000 more of us died today and that tomorrow we’re going to exceed 190,000 deaths and will go well past 6,300,000 infected. You must be absolutely desperate to keep us enthralled with anything but what is really going on and so yeah, what better way to do that then to tell people to do patently illegal things with voting. Bonus points for stoking liberal rage galore and getting quite a lot of conservatives pumped with “we’ll show them they can’t catch voter fraud” excitement.

I think the distraction angle has merit, but what actually just occurred to me is that you are so damn scared now that you all are not only trying to suppress Black and Brown peoples’ votes, you’re trying to give your base two votes each. Wow, if that’s not a sign of absolute terrified desperation, I don’t know what is. It’s also crooked as hell and beyond disgusting, but there’s a certain logic to it given how freaked out you must be. It’s like the greedy kid who pinches a tiny bit of air, drops “it” in front of their playmate before giving themselves two jellybeans and says “ok, zero for you and two for me.”


May we be safe from our shyster POTUS.
May we vent some outrage but keep our eyes and hearts on what’s important.
May we be strong and true through these trials.
May we keep reminding ourselves we have to accept there is no bottom with this guy.

Tracy Simpson

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