Dear President Trump,

Dang does my left pinky want to get into the action when I’m typing your name; it just reflexively stamps down on the “a” after I’ve typed the “Tr”. Oh! I just realized that it’s because of my name – “Tracy” so it’s not really all that telling. But still, when the “u” is swapped out for an “a” we get so much closer to an accurate moniker for you that I almost wish I hadn’t put together the more reasonable explanation for my trigger pinky action.

Another thing before launching into something somewhat more substantive – I’d appreciate it if you would thank whoever’s managing your White House contact page for going back to the full auto-fill functionality. It was a feature that was added quite a ways back and then disappeared a few months ago only to reappear earlier this week. Obviously I can deal with typing in my information over and over (and over), but it’s so nice to just enter a “T”, click on my first name and then have everything but my address auto-populate. The last little thing about your site is that after each submission a small dialog box pops up thanking me for my submission. I’m supposed to check “OK” before leaving the page but every single time I delight in just closing the page without checking that box. Apparently I can subsist on a pretty lean reinforcement schedule with all this.

Ok, onto something not much weightier but less naval-gazy. On Wednesday Laura came across an awesome joke by the person with the Twitter handle @JuliusGoat (he’s the one who articulated the need for us all to regard ourselves and one another as precious, unique works of art). Here’s the joke:

“To the people who took the Barr memo at face value: your uncle does not actually have your nose, ignore what he says. That is his thumb.”

I do get that there’s a tiny disconnect between seeing absolutely everyone as precious, unique works of art and seriously questioning the intelligence of people who took the Barr memo at face value, but it’s quite funny and certainly isn’t nasty mean. Some precious, unique works of art aren’t very good, are carelessly thrown together, or are compromised by ill-considered elements. And so it is with a lot of people.

I hope, though, that a niece or nephew is able to do at least some of your fans a favor by slipping them the intel that someone who doesn’t have their best interests at heart is leading them around by the nose – no joke.

May we be safe from manipulative politicians.
May we hang onto our senses of humor.
May we stay feisty and strong.
May you not so go off the rails that you start a war.

Sincerely,
Tracy Simpson