Dear President Trump,

Last night Laura was playing a clip of something from Twitter and as I listened I puzzled over who was speaking, having never heard the voice before. Turns out it was your boy Jared talking with Laura Ingraham. Calmly and with great good humor he told her how all the crazy falsehoods leveled at him turned out to be false, that all he’s done is work with the phenomenal team of people you picked to help push forward your phenomenal foreign agenda. Gag me. Do you all have to practice lying to pull it off with such cool nonchalance or does it just come naturally to swamp creatures?

An aside – I know it’s juvenile, but I love, love, love the swamp creature masks that are turning up on people sitting behind your nominees. I toyed with the idea of working out a way to sit behind you at one of your rallies and donning a swamp creature mask but figured the possibility of being beaten to death by your fans is too real so I’m shelving it. I hope no one else tries it for those safety reasons, but still, it’d be awesome to see a swamp creature suddenly appear over your right shoulder, impassively staring at you.

Ok, back to the current business end of the swampiness. I thought it was quite interesting how deftly Jared scooted right around Ingraham’s question about whether he’s “a grave national security risk.” He never answered her; there was nary an indignant exclamation that it’s a preposterous idea. Nope, what he did was give the silky song and dance noted above. Funny what can be read into this word salad when you realize he never answered Ingraham’s question – if he’s not not a national security risk and he’s working on your agenda, what the f*ck does that say about your agenda?

All this boils down to my very strongly held opinion that Tricia Newbold deserves a Congressional Medal of Honor for bravery and service to her country. I sure as hell hope that the other security clearance ajudicators take heart and come forward too. If Newbold knows of 25 people deemed security risks but whose clearances were waved through and she is just one ajudicator, how many more are there and who are they?

You know, it’s horrible when the best thing to happen in weeks is that a brave whistleblower comes forward to reveal that 25++++ people who should not have top-secret clearance do. This is some kind of messed up.

May we be safe from our own president.
May we be willing to stay on you like fleas on a dog.
May we be healthy and strong like the Tricia Newbolds of the world.
May we have the courage to be peace.

Sincerely,
Tracy Simpson