Dear President Trump,

In a way it’s good you have an obnoxious last name that connotes spiteful dominance because if I was writing “Dear President Smith” or “Dear President Jones” every day to someone who aspires to spiteful dominance, I think it would be even harder to stay polite. Your name, though, automatically pulls in the horror of the situation.

You didn’t get to choose your name, but since you seem to revel in it, plastering “TRUMP” on pretty much anything that might get you a buck, calling you out on it seems fair. I especially like the Vocabulary.com definitions of “trump”: “To trump is to outrank or defeat someone or something, often in a highly public way. Originally trump implied a deceptive form of victory involving cheating, but that sense has been largely lost, though it’s still around in the term trumped up, meaning something that’s been falsely made up.” So, apparently your backward looking ways include resurrecting the worst historical meanings of the word “trump.” The coincidences laced through all this would make for a fictitious storyline so over the top, the author would be accused of way over-reaching.

I feel ill. I decided to also look up the “meaning” of the name ‘Donald’ just to be thorough and I swear I’m not making this shit up; apparently your given name means “Mighty Chief, Ruler of the World.” Holy crap. So here we are with a president whose name means Mighty Chief, Ruler of the World (by way of) Defeating Someone in a Highly Public Way and gaining Victory through Deception and Cheating. Now I’m kind of wishing your name really was something benign like John Smith – at least it wouldn’t feel like you’re trying to live out some predestined call to world dominance gained through bullying and deception.

This isn’t what I wanted to write about today. I got totally off track with the comment about how addressing you politely is marginally more palatable because of your rude name. I’m not sure why yet, but apparently I needed to go down this particular rabbit hole. Whatever the reason, it remains abundantly clear that you cannot be allowed to be the Ruler of The World.

May we be safe from you.
May we be happy to keep calling out your vulgar bullying.
May we be healthy enough to withstand your deception and your cheating.
May we push back hard on you in the name of peace and all that is good.

Sincerely,
Tracy Simpson