Dear President Trump,
There is so much going on it’s hard to choose what to write to you about today. Since it’s clearly the biggest deal, the email exchange between your son and Rob Goldstone sadly wins out. I’d been all set to write about the beautiful human chain of rescuers in Florida that saved ten people from drowning or about the gut churning non-verbal exchange I had with a white man on my flight home this morning who made “between us white people” eyes at me in response to an exchange he’d had with an African American woman. These two situations are clearly pretty far apart on the “merits of humanity” scale, but then there’s the email exchange and subsequent meeting between Don Jr., Manafort, Kushner, and a Russian lawyer they believed was going to provide insider Russian government dirt on Hilary Clinton. All of that is so staggeringly at the far negative end of the “merits of humanity” scale that I can’t ignore the stupid, sordid, brazen hubris of it.
What’s in all this for you? Maybe you really are just Putin’s Fool and you were duped into being his Tool to undermine the US and the world order or maybe you were offered a deal you couldn’t possibly pass up to play this role knowingly. Actually, I can’t imagine there’s a version of this that has you in control of much of anything so I think the safest bet is that you all were duped and set up (I mean really, who the hell sends such a blatantly corrupt email if the intent is not to have a paper trail to use later?). It could still be you were promised an unbelievable set of rewards beyond the Presidency, but you wouldn’t have realized how it really was too good to be true. Whatever and however all this went down, I’m guessing you are hoping to pardon yourself and then seek asylum in Russia, maybe with fantasies that you and your good friend (that great guy) Putin will somehow rule the world from your all powerful, evil lair. My bet is you will be allowed to seek asylum in Russia but that you will be kept on an incredibly short, if luxurious, leash and will never get visits from your Master. Alright, all this is probably way over the top but it’s no more over the top then what you all are apparently covering up.
May the entire world be safe.
May all of us hold on to happiness as we weather this storm.
May the world be healthy enough to recover from this corrosive damage.
May love win (soon).