Dear President Trump, Today is my mom’s birthday, the last in a long string of August family birthdays that started on the 10th with my deceased grandfather, then my father’s on the 12th, my twin sisters’ on the 14th, and our brother-in-law’s (BIL) on the 18th. When we were kids my brother and I would … Continue reading Matter and energy
Love and Compassion
“…. I don’t see any up sides to this situation”
Dear President Trump, Our brother-in-law’s (BIL) niece suggested we read Joan Didion’s memoir “The Year of Magical Thinking.” It’s Didion’s account of her life during the year following her husband, John Dunne’s sudden death from cardiac arrest. Her ability to capture the sense of loss and of being lost following a close loved one’s death … Continue reading “…. I don’t see any up sides to this situation”
Cornerstone of kindness
Dear President Trump, Sometimes it really doesn’t work to try to cheer oneself up with a platitude like “ this too shall pass” or “just hang in, it’ll be ok.” You may be getting a taste of this with everything you’ve got going on and how bleak it’s looking for you as more of your … Continue reading Cornerstone of kindness
Ordinary feels so strange
Dear President Trump, The ordinariness of being back home feels so strange. Because we’ve lived over 2,000 miles away from Laura’s brother and our brother-in-law (BIL) for over twenty years, not having BIL around is normal and yet now that he is dead, it feels anything but normal. It’s sort of like how Laura’s brother … Continue reading Ordinary feels so strange
Endings and transitions
Dear President Trump, I’m pretty much at the end of my stay here in Atlanta. Laura left this morning and I leave at the crack of dawn tomorrow. I think it will be good all around for us to be home. Laura’s brother says he’s ready to start sorting out his new normal without his … Continue reading Endings and transitions
Angels and stories
Dear President Trump, There is a painting hanging above the fireplace in Laura’s brother’s family room that I’ve always liked a lot. It’s an abstracted plaza scene with 25 or so figures in dresses, overcoats, and suits traversing the space rather pell-mell. Most of them are casting multiple shadows as if there are lights on … Continue reading Angels and stories
Legislation can help us be better to one another
Dear President Trump, Today was filled with chores, visits, flowers, and tears. Laura has been doing a lot of the proverbial heavy lifting; figuring things out, getting calls made and faxes sent, carting things to Goodwill. She also found the perfect place to donate our brother-in-law’s (BIL) bike. She’s been fearless and tireless with the … Continue reading Legislation can help us be better to one another
Both/and
Dear President Trump, About an hour after we got back to the house last night Laura’s brother called and told us that our brother-in-law (BIL) died just before midnight. He wasn’t pronounced dead until after midnight so the official record will list his death one day after his birthday. We’ll always know, though, that his … Continue reading Both/and
August 18th
Dear President Trump, Today is August 18th and it is our brother-in-law’s (BIL) 66th birthday. We are all happy for some strange, not very clear reason that he didn’t die one or two days shy of his birthday. Also, we are all happy for very clear reasons that he was moved out of the ICU … Continue reading August 18th
Sometimes less is more humane
Dear President Trump, Technically it’s August 18th here in Atlanta, but I am giving myself the extra couple of hours that belong to the West Coast to send you this note. I went straight from the airport to the hospital and spent the day there with Laura, her brother, our brother-in-law (BIL), and twelve or … Continue reading Sometimes less is more humane