President* Trump,

So I guess when the WAstate.gov website says that general election ballots will be mailed on October 16, 2020 it means they aren’t going to show up in our mailboxes the same day. I see that this is logical – ballots don’t have special powers and can’t just teleport into mailboxes the same day they are released and USPS hasn’t gotten a new batch of elves in a long, long time. But oh, did it feel crushing to pry open the mailbox several times today, feel around in there, and have to conclude there was nada – no ballots and nothing remotely resembling ballots. And oh, is it a let down to be at 7:02 pm right now on this 16^th day of October 2020 with no ballot in hand and to not have filled the sucker out and deposited it in the official ballot drop box nearest us (as in we don’t have the same issue that parts of California do with “unofficial” GOP funded drop boxes – OMG are you all desperate).

I know, we’ll get to do that soon. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe Monday. Our ballots just can’t come soon enough. The satisfaction of voting for not-you and of voting for a decent human being (along with some truly awesome women running for Congress) is something I’ve pined for for years now. I can totally relate to the people who’re standing in endless lines to vote or who’re freaking out over whether their ballots will be counted. So, so many of us are counting the seconds until we get to see your backside and know that you will never darken the doors of the White House ever again.

And, as it turns out, way more of us who are looking forward to that lovely day are women. I know that’s not new news and that I’ve covered it before in letters to you, but Dana Milbank’s WP editorial this evening lays it out quite nicely (https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2020/10/16/why-would-any-woman-swipe-right-this-man/) and his online dating reference is pretty funny. Indeed, why would any woman ever swipe right for you? Apparently, though, White Evangelical women are way the hell into you – 53% more of them favor you over Biden. Holy cannoli, that’s scary. Contrast that spread with what happens when those women are pulled out of the sample and we get 70% of the rest of us women voting for Biden and 25% voting for you.

So yes, there’s still a small proportion of women who appear to be down with the idea that you are “a perfect physical specimen” and who find your toxic masculinity invigorating, or something – not sure what. These are probably the women who would’ve fallen in line with Phyllis Schlafly and who think Ann Coulter and Sarah Palin hung the moon together. In other words, my sense is that these are women who would throw their sister women under a speeding bus if it scored them points with the men in their lives. I don’t think that one can be pro-woman and support you or the direction you and your GOP props want to take the country. It’s truly a ‘does not compute’ deal.

Then there’s the men. Men do look some better when the Evangelicals among them are pulled out (16% and 18% more of the remaining men favor Biden than you), but when they’re all lumped together, they’re split at 48% apiece. On the one hand, it’s really good to know that nearly half of the likely male voters in the US are not planning to vote for you, but on the other hand, it’s horrifying that nearly half of the likely male voters in the US are planning to vote for you.

The Talking Heads lyrics “This is not my beautiful house, this is not my beautiful wife….. How did I get here?” just popped in. Yes, I could probably list several dozen reasons why you appeal to certain men, but really – how did we get here? And importantly, how can we get away from here?

May we be safe from toxic masculinity.
May we be willing to chuck those old male models.
May we see that strength of character and capacity for compassion are fine for everyone.
May we accept that the patriarchy simply needs to go.

Sincerely,
Tracy Simpson