Dear President Trump,
There’s so much crap flying out of the White House, it’s absolutely disgusting. Like yesterday how you invited the head of the NRA to your Christmas party on the 5th anniversary of the Sandy Hook massacre. There are apologists saying you invite lots of people to your holiday parties and it just happened that Wayne LaPierre attended one on December 15th. I have a bridge in Brooklyn they might be interested in if they are dumb enough to believe you all weren’t aware of the meaning of entertaining LaPierre yesterday. It was almost certainly a way to thumb your nose at the families of the slain children and the 1,767 people killed in mass shootings since Sandy Hook (as of Nov. 6th, 2017). And more importantly, it was a not so subtle signal to your rabidly pro-Second Amendment base that you have their backs and are happy for each and every one of them to have multiple semi-automatic weapons handy in case they are ever peeved enough to want to take out several dozen of their fellow citizens. Incredible.
Plus, as of today there are frightening, infuriating rumors flying that you are waiting for Congress to head home at the end of the week so you can fire Mr. Mueller in peace and quiet. Wise people have always said that bullies are really cowards, so there you go. You would be all but admitting you have something very, very immoral and likely criminal to hide. Otherwise, why in the world would you even consider pulling the plug? Well, likely because Mueller is getting close to your favorite thing, your money. He certainly would have followed the money and the money almost certainly revealed just when, where, and how you and the very senior members of your staff were behaving unethically and corruptly with the very senior members of Putin’s staff.
I know we have to wait and see what you do (or don’t do, maybe?), but it occurs to me that another part of why you may fire Mr. Mueller the Friday before Christmas is to hit the American people with it when we are unlikely to mobilize against you because it is extremely cold and wet in most parts of the country right now and because people are too damn busy shopping for Christmas. Maybe I’m just being overly cynical and paranoid. I hope so. I really do.
May you be safe from your own worst impulses.
May you be happy to stop being a cowardly bully.
May you consider the health of the country ahead of your own.
May you not start a war.