Dear President Trump,
I know your staff periodically changes things up on this “contact the White House” page, but it was quite a surprise to get an email from the White House thanking me for my correspondence to you. I’ve probably written to you faithfully for over 160 days now and this is the first acknowledgement from you all. I’m not sure what to think, whether I should be worried that I’m now on someone’s radar or if this is just a routine tweak to your interface-with-the-public apparatus. My bet it’s the latter since it’s pretty clear I’m harmless and it’s not worth anyone in your administration’s time to keep an eye on me or to send me personal correspondence to let me know you are aware of me. Whatever is going on with this, I’m just going to plug away and keep writing you. You are stuck with me for the foreseeable future and I am stuck with you. I dare say, though, you are getting the better end of this deal since you are almost certainly completely unaware of me and I have zero impact on your life while you continue to be my most difficult person.
Even though I am a tiny, persistent (opinionated) gnat who just won’t leave you alone, I can’t actually (metaphorically) fly in your eye or up your nose. However, the news lately is sure full of bigger bugs who do seem to be swarming your face. You are doing your level best to ignore them or swat them down, but it’s clear they are getting up your nose because you are doing more and more desperate stuff to distract everyone from Russia, collusion, failed healthcare bills, and an Oval Office in chaos. We’ve got your number, though, and you can flap and squawk and bully all you want and we aren’t going to let up because there’s too much at stake. Your numbers are slipping, your base is starting to fracture, Republican congress people are teaming up with Democrats to fence you in, and the press is not letting up. Plus, there are lots more of us than there are of you and we are mad and scared for ourselves and our children. I bet you are feeling pretty freaked out if you have any handle on reality and I’m sure you need all the blessings you can get.
May you and the rest of us be safe from you.
May you and the rest of us be happy to move on from this nightmare of a presidency.
May you and the rest of us have the strength to repair the damage to our democracy.
May you not inflict a war on the rest of us.